CPO Chronological Production Order
by Old Romantic
Summary: Missing scenes from the production order of Season 4, not the order in which the eps were aired. Pairings include Sydney and Vaughn, as well as Weiss and Nadia.
1. 4x01: Authorized Personnel Only, Pt 1

**Title: CPO **(Chronological Production Order)  
**Author: **Em aka Old Romantic  
**Rating: PG/PG-13  
****Genre: **Romance  
**Pairings: **Syd/Vaughn, Nadia/Weiss  
**Spoilers: **All of Season Four  
**Originally Posted: **Fall of 2004  
**Disclaimer: **If I had any part of the creation team of Alias, I would've pushed for the S4 eppys to be played in the right order until I got my way. Heh.

**Summary: **Missing scenes from the eppys of S4 in _production_ order, not the order in which they were aired.

**A/N: **If you didn't already know it, the airing of the episodes in Season 4 were grossly out of the order in which they were planned, written, and produced – more so than any of the previous seasons. With this fic, I'm filling in the "missing scenes" with my romantic version of S4, if the eppys had been aired in the order they were written.

Thanks to **auntof3** for the beta! (((smooches))) And thank you for reading!! Enjoy!

* * *

**4x01: Authorized Personnel Only, Pt. 1:**

She hadn't seen him in a month; not since leaving him at the hospital in Palermo, recovering from a punctured lung before heading home to face his punishment for killing his wife. After that, Vaughn had been sent back to D.C. for psychological evaluation, and Sydney had done the only thing she knew how to do to cope with the events of her typically complicated life: she went back to work and tried to sort out the good from the bad. But the information about the safety deposit box in Wittenberg that Lauren had alluded to just before her death was just too much of tease. Sydney needed to know what was in that box, no matter what.

Two weeks after watching Vaughn's seven shots to Lauren's chest permanently rid them of her, Sydney walked into a bank in that city, made her way to the safety deposit boxes using an alias, and discovered some very revealing documents about her mother's whereabouts that her father didn't want her to see. And for the second time in her life, she had to grieve the loss of the mother she hardly knew.

After that, Sydney didn't know how to relate to _anyone_, let alone Vaughn. She'd stopped answering his phone calls, using the excuse that she was too busy at work when she'd phone and leave a message on his voicemail; timing her calls when she knew he was in therapy and unable to answer. She still had the nagging sensation that everyone involved with her would wind up dead, and secretly, she hoped that he might be able to move on with his life again without her, for his own good. Although those first few days back together after Lauren's death had been a welcome and they'd gratefully clung to each other, sharing intimate kisses, she was glad when they called her back to L.A. and she had the excuse of work to keep their relationship from moving too fast as he healed. She didn't want to fall 

into bed with him without discussing all of the things they'd gone through, even as much as her body argued that she did.

She'd only been working a week when she quietly went to Director Chase seeking advice and told her that she needed a fresh start. Originally planning to hand in her resignation and trying something new, maybe even in a new city, Chase had closed the door and made her an offer that she couldn't refuse.

A week after that, everything was in place. After staging an entire mission that resulted in the fake threat of a demotion which led to her pretending to quit theCIAaltogether, she had a secret new job with a black ops division of theCIA(for _real_ this time), and another double life.

She knew she could handle the lying to her family and friends because she'd done it for so many years before; and she knew that she would only feel fulfilled without Vaughn beside her if she immersed herself in work and protecting government secrets. It was the only way. Little did she know that Chase had other plans.

One step into her new office, and she knew that she had everything she'd wanted and more. With its secret entrance and light homey appeal, she felt that she'd fit right in with her new colleagues and boss…and then she saw that there was nothing new about _any_ of them – at least to her. In the briefing room, Chase introduced her to her partners: Dixon, a man she could work with and had for years with no major problems; her father, someone she'd vowed to never speak to again; and Vaughn.

She stared at Vaughn the longest, wondering if she should say something sarcastic and quirky and inappropriate like, "Oh, hi, honey," but was distracted by the fact that her father, the murderer, was included in this elite group. She wanted to know who had assembled the team, but that was even more of a shock; when she turned to see her evil former boss as her new one: Arvin Sloane. Again, she went with her instincts and demanded answers in private, which Chase did satisfy, but only with the understanding that she, Vaughn, Dixon, and her father would be the ones to watch Sloane for any signs of betrayal. Suddenly, she dreaded this job more than the old one.

Entering the briefing room again and facing the men she worked well with, loved, and hated in turn, Sloane showed that he was indeed in charge by leading the meeting and outlining the mission ahead of them. She could hardly look at Vaughn, couldn't speak with her father, could not contain her hatred for Sloane, and did not think she'd be able to live with the job until Dixon spoke with her in her new office after the meeting and reminded her that she wasn't alone in her anxiety. If he could deal with it, so could she.

Over the next couple of hours as she prepared for her first mission in her new position, leaving late that night with Vaughn, she knew she'd have to cope with seeing him regularly and deal with the circumstances of her new post. She knew it would be tough, but deep down she was surprised that she liked the idea of having Vaughn back in her life, even as much as she'd tried to push him away over the previous couple of weeks. She definitely didn't want them to rush into anything, considering the delicate nature of their jobs and the 

knowledge that what had happened before to tear them apart could happen again. If they were destined to be together, it would have to happen in its own time.

Sydney was packing up the last of the little essential items she'd want on her first trip as an operative with APO before getting ready in order to leave early, when the doorbell to her apartment rang. She knew immediately that it wasn't Weiss; he had his own key and came and went as he pleased. In fact, she'd had to warn him to announce his arrival with at least a shout, after she'd walked through to the kitchen in her underwear one night months earlier and caught him on the couch, nursing a beer. The moment had only been slightly embarrassing for her, but he'd felt like crawling under the couch in shame, and had since learned his lesson, calling out a greeting every time he walked in the door from then on.

She knew that Weiss wouldn't ring the doorbell, nor would her father have the guts to show his face after their confrontation in Wittenberg when she basically told him to drop dead; and she'd already talked to Dixon earlier that afternoon at the office. Which only left one person: Vaughn.

Sydney felt only a little apprehension as she opened the door and saw his warm face, the way he was casually dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, wearing one of his leather jackets that she loved. He apologized right away for dropping by unexpectedly; she assured him that it was okay. And then he did something he'd been trying to avoid for over a year and spoke his heart, "I miss you. I wanted to say that I miss you."

Wanting to explain herself, Sydney began stuttering out responses to his assumptions about why she hadn't talked to him in so long when the truth about her fears of where they'd been headed after Wittenberg came out when she turned down his request to come in to her apartment. He seemed to understand her need for time and space before things could be like they were supposed to be and were three years earlier, but he was just ready to hash out a lot of the problems right then and there to get them out of the way. "We need to take it slow, Vaughn," she pleaded with him. There was just too much pain still there.

"Yeah," he whispered back, only slightly pleased that she was still attracted to him enough to want to keep him at arms' length. "You're probably right."

There was an awkward moment that passed as neither one of them really knew what to say. Finally, Vaughn gestured to his car in the driveway. "I-I guess I should go. Unless you want a ride to the office…?"

She shook her head, "That's okay–"

"I'm already all packed."

"No, I mean – I'm not ready," she clarified. "I still have to shower and get dressed."

She watched as his eyes darkened slightly and she suddenly regretted mentioning the shower. She knew without a doubt that he was remembering how they almost always 

showered together during their short-lived relationship before the Two Years that had drastically changed her life.

Just as she suspected, he offered, "I could wait."

"No," she answered definitely. "But thanks." And with that and their shared smile as he nodded and prepared to walk away, she lifted her hand in a wave before shutting the door.

* * *

Missions, he was good at…especially when it involved working with Sydney Bristow. From the dawn of their partnership, they'd never once had a bad fallout on an operation from an inability to work with each other. They'd had a few close calls, sure, but as far as teams go, they were the best. And this operation was no different, even if it didn't go exactly as planned.

From the lighthearted banter as they were preparing for the assignments at hand, when he showed off his knowledge of the few dirty words he'd learned in Russian by flippantly complimenting her breasts; to the stress of listening to his pulse race in his ears when he heard her endlessly fighting with her opponents via their comms, and couldn't seem to get his own adversary to stay down when he hit him so he could get to her; nothing was more rewarding than getting through another mission unharmed and successful, even if it was just by the skin of their teeth.

Vaughn had panicked when he'd tracked Sydney's location to one of the baggage cars on the train they were on and found her dangling outside of the open door by a piece of mesh that the scumbag she'd been battling was busy cutting to make her fall to her death. His anger really took over then and he fought until he'd thrown the guy out of the door and heard him yell in agony on his way down from the high bridge. But he'd only paid attention for a moment because he was more preoccupied with getting to Sydney and pulling her to safety.

She was in his arms in a moment, and when he felt her trembling, he too had the realization that he'd almost lost her again, and he hugged her tighter in response, burying his face into her neck. But he didn't want her to think that he was asking for anything; he didn't want to push her, and he wanted her to have the space that she'd asked for. So he pulled away, but only slightly; just enough to gratefully hold her face next to his before letting her go.

He wasn't expecting the look on her face to be so loving in its intensity. After staring into her eyes for a long moment while in each other's arms, he understood what she was feeling; recognizing the look of that one he saw across the room at the fallen SD-6 offices so many years before. She needed him, and following the order of his life, he wasn't able to deny her anything.

* * *

It started with a kiss.

She'd initiated it, she knew. On the train, she'd been so thankful for Vaughn's existence in her life and especially on that mission, that she would've given herself to him right then and there without a second thought. Being in his arms, looking into his loving eyes, thankful that she was given yet another chance at life because of his presence, she kissed him. And it wasn't just a kiss, but a lover's kiss that would lead to much more intimate activities had they been in a more secure place. Vaughn was actually the one to stop it, reminding her that they needed to stay safe and had to get off of the train and rendezvous with Dixon in Latvia, in which they should have been arriving soon.

It was the three of them together all the way home that kept her thinking more than acting, but she couldn't deny Vaughn's whispered offer on the plane to come over to her apartment as soon as they got back home. Still, she wondered if her decision was a wise one after being so resolved to take things slow.

By the time he arrived at her front door, Sydney had beaten herself up about leading him on. She'd gone home and just changed out of her work clothes into the hardly worn tank top and gym pants she was wearing before the operation when he knocked on the door again. As she made her way to the door, her steps gradually slowed until she stopped completely when she realized she didn't know how to apologize that what they'd both hoped would happen wasn't going to after all. She still wanted to take things slow as she'd earlier suggested, but she didn't know how convincing she'd be with that half-truth a second time, especially in light of what had just happened with the two of them on the mission.

The unlocked door opened a minute later and Vaughn poked his head inside and called out her nickname before seeing her standing against the counter in the kitchen. Watching her curiously, he went ahead and stepped into the foyer, shut the door, and remained on the top step of the entry, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You've had second thoughts," he assumed correctly.

She needed him to understand, "It's not that I don't want you, Vaughn; I really do. It's just…"

As her words trailed off, he could see that her face was scrunched as she agonized over her decision. "Syd…we can just talk if you want to – I promise I won't pressure you into anything."

She let out a breath and squeezed her eyes shut. "It's not _you_ that I'm worried about."

Smirking just a tiny bit, he walked down the few steps until they were on the same level and said quietly, "Well, then…we both know that there are only two ways to change things: either we do something to get this sexual tension out of the way or we stay apart like we did when you were at SD-6."

"No," she shuddered just thinking about it. "I can't go through that again." She lifted her eyes to his face. "But I don't want to just fall into bed with you either. I don't want the fresh start of our relationship based on meaningless sex."

"I don't either, Syd," he shrugged, "but…" He paused; seeking to hold her gaze so that he could communicate that what he was about to say was only the full and complete truth, "…Sex with you has never been and could never _be_ meaningless to me."

Sydney stared at him and thought about his words long and hard…for the whole of about thirty seconds before she stood up straight, crossed the room, and forcefully and passionately kissed him. Running her palms up his chest to his shoulders, she didn't waste any time slipping his jacket off and letting it fall to the floor. When she went to work grasping at the hem of his t-shirt to take that off of him as well, he moved his lips to her neck so that he could question between their kisses and wandering caresses, "Syd…we don't have to…do this…"

She captured his lips again and sucked hard; leaning into him so much that he stumbled backward toward the wall. Seemingly pleased with his new position, she lifted his shirt and only broke away long enough to lift the garment over his head, hoarsely whispering, "We need to get this out of the way, Vaughn."

She had slipped her tongue into his mouth and was holding his head still as she pressed her body into his before he could clarify what she'd said when it suddenly dawned on him. She hadn't been talking about getting his shirt out of the way, but the tension – the physical need that they both had eating away at them. And as he guided her toward the bedroom, each of them removing their unwanted articles of clothing, he knew she was right.

As soon as they were done satisfying their mutual need mere minutes later, Vaughn relaxed and took a full breath, stroking her face as she held his head and shoulders in a hug, and then rolled off of her to give her the space that they'd discussed, now that the pressure had been eased. As they stared at one another and he noticed that she was still wearing her shirt, he realized that he'd never had the mind to take it off of her and caress and kiss her breasts, which was his favorite part of lovemaking. Then he realized that that was not what it had been. Although it could never be meaningless as he'd said, it _had_ been just sex.

She had a wry, almost embarrassed smile on her face as she reached out to touch his cheek and finger the dimple in his chin as was her ritual habit after making love in their very physical relationship years earlier; and he almost chuckled at the way some things never change. Sydney then turned her attention to the ceiling above their heads and Vaughn heard her quietly sigh, and peered over at her to find that the look on her face seemed to be one of lament.

She spoke his question before he did, "Any regrets?"

He shook his head, "No. You?"

Keeping her gaze on something across the room, she took a second longer to answer quietly, "No."

"Good," he put his focus across the room as well, but reached out for her hand between them. "Now we can take it slow."

She snickered for a moment and then relaxed a little bit more to say, "Thank you for saving my life on the train."

"I think you've thanked me well enough," he teased and saw her grin out of the corner of his eye. But thinking of the mission they'd just been on, he remembered something he wanted to ask her. "Syd…" he carefully approached the changed subject, "before we left, Jack came to see me with a message for you." Her face slowly grew grim and she gently slid her hand from his to lay it across her stomach. "Your father wanted me to remind you that in Belarus, we're not going to have a tactical team." He rolled to his side and propped up on his elbow to see her face. "So why is your father talking to you through me?"

As expected, she didn't answer, but he could tell from the pained look in her eyes that _something_ had happened, and he had an idea what it might involve. It was time to ask the direct question, "When I was in D.C., I know that you went to Wittenberg, and I know that your father was there. What happened in Wittenberg?"

Her eyes glazed over and he knew right away that she was remembering some event that was apparently painful enough that she didn't want to talk about it. But he also knew that she wouldn't heal from whatever it was unless she confided in him. "You want to tell me what happened in Wittenberg?" he prodded.

She turned her head and looked him dead in the eye to answer softly, "No, actually, I don't." And then he watched as she sat up and crossed the room to the bathroom door, where she disappeared around the corner. A moment later, he heard the shower turn on and he knew that their moments of intimacy would have to wait until they could rebuild a real relationship again.

Thinking to her noncommittal answer to his questions about Wittenberg, he could surmise that she'd found out some truth about her father that she just couldn't deal with, and that was why they hadn't spoken in weeks. Whatever it was, it must've been bad, and Vaughn knew that only the two of them could resolve whatever the problem was. No matter what, he wasn't going to help Jack keep in contact with her by being the middleman; if he wanted to talk with Sydney, then he'd better fix their relationship himself.

Presently getting up when he knew he should go, he quickly retrieved his clothes from the floor and put them on, and then poked his head in the door of the bathroom as he put on his jacket. "I'll see you in the morning, Syd," he spoke loud enough for her to hear over the running water.

She didn't even pull back the curtain to answer him with an "okay", but she did a moment later just as he was leaving the room. "Vaughn," she called out and he peered back in the doorway to see just her head and one shoulder exposed. She let out a breath before softly adding, "Thanks." And she knew that he would understand what she meant.

He did and offered her a half grin. "Let's have lunch tomorrow."

She brightened to that idea, but suggested, "How about dinner here instead? I'll cook."

He could never resist her offers or her smiles, and lightly replied, "Even better."


	2. 4x02: Authorized Personnel Only, Pt 2

**4x02: Authorized Personnel Only, Pt. 2**

Vaughn wasn't going to tell Sydney that her father had tried to communicate with her through him again when she came to his desk the next morning, until she brought it up. "What were you talking to my dad about?" she asked right away, and he knew that she must've seen them from somewhere in the office.

"I wasn't," he answered simply, looking up at her from his chair. "He wants to talk to you, and he thinks that I'm his solution, that's all." He reached over to rest his hand on hers as she leaned on his desk. "You should talk to him, Syd."

"No," she murmured right away, and stood up to pull her hand away from him; changing the subject to keep herself distanced. "I came by to tell you that Sloane is sending me to find Nadia in Argentina, and I won't be back until late. Do you want to cancel dinner?"

"No, we can eat late," he offered.

"Yeah, but I wanted to make something special, and I'm out of a few things. I won't have time to go to the store first."

He considered that for a moment. "What if I went to the store for you? What time will you get home?"

"At about eight, I guess. You really don't mind?"

"No," he chuckled. "It'll be nice."

She nodded and smiled with him in agreement. "I'll call you when I land."

Watching her take another step toward the door, his smile softened. "See you tonight."

* * *

Finding Nadia had been pretty simple because she was not using an alias, and she had a lot of friends in her hometown that knew where she liked to hang out. But Sydney had expected that she would be able to convince her to come back to the States with her; she simply didn't know the extent of the pain that Nadia had suffered in her life as a spy. Sydney could certainly relate.

Still, she didn't push her into doing something she didn't want to do, and instead Sydney came home alone, but with the necessary information they needed in her possession. She communicated that to Sloane while on the plane as per protocol, and waited until she'd safely landed before calling Vaughn and informing him she was home, and telling him what to get at the store. He was just leaving the offices, so she chatted with him about what she was planning to make as he walked to his car and she to hers.

"I was thinking about spaghetti, just because it's easy to make, and it's the only thing I really make well."

"Oh, come on, Syd. You're a great cook."

"Says the man with the appetite and no culinary skills," she grinned into the phone. "I think you'd eat anything as long as someone else made it."

"Hey, you'd be surprised how much I've learned in the past few years. I can make pasta too now."

"Ooo," she teased as she walked through the small airport terminal toward the parking lot. "Along with your scrambled eggs and canned cream of mushroom soup?"

"And salad," he added in a mock-hurt tone. "Give me a _little_ credit."

She laughed and went back to the original subject. "Well, I have all the things needed for a salad too, but I just need some bread."

"Just like last time," he joked, knowing she would remember their first night together so many years before. "_French_ bread?"

Sydney stifled her chuckle. "I'll let _you_ decide that this time."

He reached his car and unlocked the driver's side door. "Okay. Anything else?"

"Some spinach for the salad and dressing, and umm…something to drink would be nice."

"What kind of salad dressing?"

"Anything," she replied lightly. "Whatever you're hungry for."

"Mmm," he spoke in a sultry voice, dropping it just a notch. "That's a dangerous offer."

"Down, boy," she giggled. "This is _just_ dinner tonight."

"I'll behave."

"Good," she continued to smile. "I'll see you soon."

An hour later, Sydney had the sauce cooking, the salad nearly done, and was worried because she didn't have the type of noodles she wanted to use as a base for the sauce. She had the traditional spaghetti and angel hair and macaroni in her cupboard, but none of those were special enough for her first official dinner date with Vaughn since his false marriage, even if it was a casual one that would not end in sex. She still wanted it to be perfect. So she decided that because he was sure to already be on his way to her apartment, she'd wait until he arrived, and then she would run over to Eric's and see if he had anything better.

When the doorbell rang, she'd already decided which kind of noodles she'd prefer, so she hurried to the door and opened it in mid-sentence, saying that they needed penne, and that there wasn't any in the container in her cupboard she'd specifically designated for those noodles, when she suddenly stopped, realizing that it was her father and not Vaughn on the other side of the door. Then she tried to slam the door on him before moving quickly away from the entrance to get back to her dinner preparations, hoping he would get the hint and go away. But he didn't.

After a few minutes of trying to communicate to her dad just how much she despised him now that she knew the truth about how deceitful he could be, he asked the question that made her realize his true motive for stopping by: to find out if she'd told Nadia that he'd killed their mother. Immediately, the purpose of his visit all came into light. He was worried for his own well-being, as she should have expected. Vaughn came in the door just as she was assuring her father that she hadn't told Nadia anything; although she was currently regretting that decision.

Vaughn had unconsciously let himself in to Sydney's apartment, thinking that she would be alone, so when he bounded down the stairs and found her and Jack finally locked in a tense conversation, he stood back to wait it out and let them finish. But instead, Jack looked to him and pivoted to leave the apartment without a goodbye, while Sydney turned back to cutting her yellow bell peppers for the salad; the painful emotions flashing across her face as she fought them.

Walking over to set the bagful of groceries he'd brought on the counter, he watched her out of the corner of his eye, wondering if she'd enlighten him to the topic of the conversation with her father. But she didn't, and instead, she shook her head and apologized before leaving the kitchen for the safety and privacy of her bedroom.

He knew she'd need a few minutes alone, so he went about the business of putting everything that needed to be kept cold away – including the coffee ice cream he'd bought as a joke and another reminder of their first night – making sure that the stove was off so nothing would get burned or ruined, and put the wine he'd bought in a cupboard out of sight. He doubted that the night would end up being as romantic as he'd hoped after all.

Not knowing if she'd actually open up, he went into her room and stood near the doorway and asked, "What's going on?" hoping she would answer.

She offered a weak smile before saying the most shocking thing he'd heard in a while, "It was Lauren that told me."

"What?" he asked out of sheer curiosity.

"Told me where to look." She paused. "Safety deposit box in Wittenberg…" And suddenly he knew she was going to explain what had happened between her and her father at last. It irritated him quite a bit that his deceased ex-wife had been the one to cause Sydney this much pain, and he knew it was something he'd have to deal with at his next therapy session before he let the anger get the best of him. But for now, he sat down beside Sydney and just opened his ears to listen to her pour out her heart.

When she was done telling him about the contents of that box, she was crying in grief over losing her mother again, this time at the hand of her father, and she seemed so frail. Vaughn wanted her to feel secure that he understood her pain and was there for her if she needed him, so he reached over for her shoulder to pull her into his arms, and she ended up curled up in the fetal position with her head in his lap, repeating the same phrase over and over again in a sort of chant: "He killed her. He killed my mother." He was sure that she was taking the news of her mother's death a lot harder than she had the first time as a child. But this time, he ached right along with her, leaning over to kiss her shoulder in silent support, and then held her until she'd cried it out.

She fell asleep in that position, and when he realized it, he maneuvered her into his arms and carried her to the right side of the bed where he remembered she always slept, and tucked her in, hearing her murmur something about the sauce burning. He assured her that it was fine and that he would put it away, and as he walked back into the kitchen, he remembered that she _could_ have been sleep-talking like she used to do occasionally. The thought brought a tiny smile to his face as he searched for a container to save the sauce in.

Once that was done, he quietly cleaned up the few dishes and put them away in the most logical places, hoping that he was right, and wiped down the counters before leaving her a note that said that he would see her in the morning, and if she needed him, she could call him at Weiss's.

"Did you get my note?" he asked after their typical greetings the next morning at the office while they were on their way to the briefing room from the entrance.

"Yes, I did," she replied with her eyebrows furrowed just a little. "But why are you staying at Eric's? Did you sell your house?"

"Uhh…" he muttered dumbly, realizing he'd never told her what he'd done to get rid of the home he'd shared with Lauren. Stopping her just outside of the room where the team was going to meet in a few minutes, Vaughn figured that now was as good a time as any to confess, "I burned it down."

Her eyes widened as expected as she quietly exclaimed, "What??"

He shrugged, "I wanted to erase Lauren from my life completely. So after I got back from Palermo, I set it on fire. That's…part of the reason that I was in Psych-Eval in D.C. for so long."

She could understand his reasons for doing it because she felt the same way about wanting to forget Lauren's existence and the last miserable year and a half of her life. Then she wondered, "So…since you came back from D.C., you've been at Eric's?" She could hardly believe she hadn't noticed that he was just a few doors down from her own apartment.

"I hope that's okay with you," he hoped when he saw the look on her face.

"No, it's fine; I just…" she lifted one shoulder, "didn't know."

"I wasn't keeping it from you."

"I didn't think you were."

They stopped to smile at each other and Dixon as he walked past to go into the room, and then she finished up their conversation with her thanks for the night before and how he'd cleaned up. "Can we try again tonight maybe?"

He gestured to the doors beside them. "Let's see how this briefing goes first."

Sure enough, by the end of the meeting, they knew that trying to have a romantic dinner that evening would be a mistake. First, they found out that they would have to do something really illegal and steal a famous samurai sword from a museum in London, and then they had to try to recruit Marshall to get them into the museum safely before leaving for the mission in the middle of the night.

Marshall took the news that he would join the team under Sloane's direction really well, and as soon as he was safely ensconced in his new office with his task at hand, Sydney went home to get some much needed rest before their trip.

* * *

Vaughn wished Sydney luck before she began the most difficult part of the mission, and he found it humorous that she smiled back with her thanks as if she were a kid about to break into a candy store. He could tell she really lived for this kind of life. And when she encountered trouble, he was glad that she was the best at it.

Fortunately, they got the sword, although she had to run for her life until her father rescued her when Vaughn, Marshall, and Dixon couldn't get to her in time. Jack wasn't even supposed to be on the mission, but Vaughn assumed that he knew more than they did about the danger of the operation and took it on himself to do something about it as he usually did. Vaughn was just glad that he was there because he saved Sydney's life.

Sleeping on the plane ride home, the team made it back to APO in time to use the facility's showers to clean up and change and start another work day. Vaughn ran into Sydney as he was going to his office and together they walked. She hit on the same topic of conversation every time they saw each other, "As soon as this whole thing with Tomosaki is over, we should try having dinner again."

"I agree," Vaughn nodded. "I'll just have to keep putting off Weiss until then – he thinks we should've gotten past the first date days ago."

"Wait," she touched his arm to get him to stop and look at her. "What does he think you're doing now? Since you 'quit' the CIA?"

"He thinks I'm looking for another teaching job. Or possibly that I'm out sowing my wild oats."

She grinned with his joke and teased, "Well, we can't have that," just as a junior agent came up to them with some paperwork she needed to sign.

Vaughn took that as his cue to leave because they had a lot of work that had to be done, and he waved and smiled at her as they went their separate directions.

Within hours, they were all in another briefing, and Vaughn could sense the hostility radiating from Sydney as she requested that her father replace Dixon as her partner for the next mission. But Sloane didn't back down, and Vaughn did his best on the flight and in the hotel as their team prepared for the operation that she could deal with working with her father long enough to get through the ordeal.

She was unusually quiet and non-talkative for the first hour as she and Jack waited in their designated location for Tomosaki to contact them with instructions on where to meet him to sell him the sword. And when he did call on a nearby payphone, demanding that she come alone, Vaughn heard via her comm and quickly change into a suit to blend in and moved into the building she was headed toward to be her backup.

When Vaughn heard that they'd lost Sydney's comm, he got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, and had Marshall double check the location where Sydney was supposed to meet Tomosaki. Without even waiting for an answer, he was already on his way out of the building to get into the tunnel she'd gone through to reach the meeting to find her. And when he and Jack met at opposite ends of the tunnel with their weapons drawn and there was no sight of her, Vaughn had flashbacks to the night they were supposed to go to Santa Barbara that had never happened.

He was probably more desperate sounding than any member of the team as they conversed with Sloane about where Sydney might've been taken, as he paced around the small space in the hotel room, and convinced them that he could coerce Nadia to help because she was their only chance for a lead.

Nadia came through as he'd hoped, and when he and Dixon and Jack stormed the meat factory where Nadia was sure Sydney was being held and had gotten inside with a stolen keycard; he wouldn't stop searching until he intercepted Sydney in a hallway, looking tired and beaten, bearing news of Tomosaki's death. He still pulled her into his arms and breathed a sigh of relief.

Upon their arrival back at the office, after Sloane congratulated them on a job well done and welcomed Nadia to the team, Vaughn got to understand a little about what was going on with Sydney. She wasn't at her desk when he went searching for her to confirm plans for another attempt at dinner that evening – especially since they were getting off from work a little early – so he went looking for her and found her in the hallway leading to the exit, unmoving, shoulders trembling, and knew she was crying again.

He automatically called out her nickname and watched as she stood up straight and dried her cheeks before turning around to face him, and even then, she remained turned away from him a little like she was embarrassed that she was caught. But he needed to know, "Syd, you okay?"

"Yeah," she spoke quickly, attempting to hide it and convince herself of that, and then tried to fight more tears to no avail. When he saw her face start to scrunch, he stepped forward and offered his embrace, wrapping his arms around her. After a moment of crying, she moved her chin above his shoulder and told him thank you, and although it wasn't necessary, he still nodded in reply, and held her as long as she needed him.

After a few minutes, Sydney slowly pulled away and Vaughn waited for her to say something. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she whispered, "I found out why my dad killed my mother." He kept his mouth shut for her to go on. "To save me," she sobbed, and then choked out, "She'd hired Tomosaki to kill me." Again she broke down and Vaughn didn't waste any time pulling her against him once more, rubbing her back in care and concern, knowing that that kind of information must be killing her inside. He moved his hand to her head and gently nudged her cheek to rest on his shoulder, where he stroked her hair in a soothing motion over and over until her sobs slowed.

When she was quiet, he offered to take her home and she accepted, allowing him to lead her to the elevator and to the tunnel leading to the parking garage where his car was located. She didn't talk much during the ride to her house, and as they got close, she told him to just pull into Weiss's driveway where she would walk home from there.

"Are you sure?" he asked as he slowed down to turn sooner.

She nodded and said, "That way you can warn Weiss not to come over tonight." He smiled with her, knowing that they'd decided they should just get their first dinner together over with once and for all. But then a flash of worry crossed her face. "Not that anything's going to happen."

"You don't have to keep reminding me," he guaranteed.

"I know," she looked down to her lap. "I just…feel like if I don't say that…then I'm leading you on."

"You're not," he promised, reaching over to rest his hand on top of hers on her knee. "Don't worry."

She looked up at him again and smiled. "Will I see you in a few minutes then?"

"Actually, I need to make a few phone calls first."

"Oh?"

He nodded and divulged, "I have to start the first of my monthly appointments with APO's shrink." At her confused look, he explained, "It was one of the stipulations for joining the team; for at least the first six months until they know I can handle it." He rolled his eyes. "_And_ I have to call a couple of schools for interviews to keep my cover with Weiss."

"Okay," she replied, reaching for the handle on the door. "I'll just see you…when I see you, then."

"An hour at the most," he vowed, and she smiled a final time and got out of the car. And thinking back to that fateful night and another parting conversation in a car, he couldn't pry his eyes off of her until she was safely inside her apartment.

* * *

Sydney walked in her front door and saw Weiss poke his head out of the kitchen. "It's about time you got home."

"What are you doing here?"

"Hey," he pointed the neck of his beer bottle at her, "in _my_ defense, you were not here…to tell me to leave."

"Well, I _am_ now. Go away." She slowly grinned to his surprised face and set her keys down on the counter. "I'm only kidding. It's probably better if you're not at home right now anyway because Vaughn's trying to make some phone calls and I'm sure he could use the peace and quiet."

"Ha, ha," he answered dryly and moved around the counter to sit down on one of the barstools. "So…" he eyed her carefully, "I guess he told you what happened to his house?"

"Yeah. Why didn't you tell me he was staying with you?" she asked as she pulled a clean pot from one of the lower cabinets.

"Right," he held up his free hand. "I'm not getting between you two. You have to work things out on your own."

Sydney chuckled and teased, "Well, then, you'd better leave within the hour because Vaughn's coming over here for dinner." She reached into the refrigerator for the sauce he'd put away for her and dumped it into the pot on the stove to reheat it, and then began making a fresh salad.

"Yeah, I definitely don't want to be here for that."

She just grinned and got to work. Once the meal was started, she looked toward her bedroom. "Watch this for me while I change clothes," she asked him and then trotted off to do just that.

She came back a few minutes later and Weiss was the one to initiate the conversation: "So you and Vaughn are having dinner, huh?"

"Yup," she nodded, stirring the sauce to make sure it wasn't sticking.

"You know, I'm surprised he has the time. He's really been working hard to find a new job since making the stupid decision to leave the Agency." She turned and gave him a look and he back-peddled. "Sorry; you know what I mean. I can understand _your_ reasons; it's just that he and I both wanted to work at the Agency since childhood. I can't believe he's giving that dream up."

"Well, some people get burned out, I guess," she placated as she began chopping vegetables across the counter from him.

"Yeah, I guess so," he shrugged and reached for a piece of one of the carrots she was cutting. "So, what are _you_ doing now?"

She told him about her new cover job working at a "bank", which just happened to be identical to her old cover story she used when she was at SD-6; but it was picked mainly because she knew it well. Weiss bought it hook, line, and sinker, and when she noticed that he was eating more of the vegetables off of her cutting board than what she had cut, she told them that he was welcome to stay for dinner, regardless of her earlier teasing.

As he stood to leave, he answered in his typical eloquence, "I'd love to, but…I gotta save the world." And she giggled as she said goodbye, just as there was a knock at the door.

Assuming it was Vaughn, she let Weiss answer it, and was surprised to hear him say hello and introduce himself; and even more so as, "Eric Weiss, thirty-eight," and "single." She'd stepped out of the kitchen when she heard her sister's voice and introduced Nadia to Eric, making sure to mention that Weiss was leaving when she knew her sister wasn't there just to say hi.

"No, I can stay," he offered lightly, but Sydney waved to him to get him to leave. "Or go," he finished. "Nice to meet you," he told the pretty girl that had immediately impressed him, and then he closed the door as he left.

Nadia didn't waste any time getting right to the point, needing to have some answers about their mother and what had happened to her. Asking if she brought her passport, Sydney offered to take her to their mother's home in Moscow and explain everything on the way. "Do you need time to pack?" she wondered, thinking she might still have time to squeeze in dinner with Vaughn.

But Nadia surprised her by answering that all of her possessions were in her car until she could find a place to stay, so she was ready to go anywhere. Turning toward her bedroom to throw together a small suitcase for their impromptu trip herself, Sydney stopped just short of her doorway when she had an idea. "Nadia, I have an extra bedroom… Why don't you just move in here?"

"No, I couldn't ask that."

"You're not asking; I'm offering. Besides, I could use the company."

She still argued, "But you and Vaughn–"

"Vaughn's living with Eric," she informed her sister. "And anyway, it's going to be a long while before you have to worry about running into him in the kitchen in the middle of the night. We're not rushing into anything." She was still smiling.

Finding that she didn't have much of an argument left, nor a place to sleep that night, Nadia looked toward the other side of the kitchen where Sydney had pointed the room out, and then back to her sister. "Are you sure?" she questioned again, and Sydney reached over and touched her arm and smiled.

"Go bring your stuff in while I pack and arrange our travel, okay?"

Studying her face for a long minute, Nadia conceded with an "okay" and the two women went their separate directions. As soon as she was within the privacy of her bedroom, Sydney picked up her phone and called Vaughn's cell. "Hey, bad news," she said right away.

"Eric said Nadia came over. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. She just wants to know about our mother. I'm going to take her to Moscow."

"I see," he paused, feeling the weight of what she was going to have to share with her sister. "So I guess this means I won't see you until you get back?"

"Yeah, but I was thinking we should have a party for Eric's birthday this weekend. How's that sound?"

"I love it. And you and me?"

"We'll work something out, I promise. But I would like for you and Eric to come back over and eat this food for me tonight. I don't want it to go to waste, and I don't think it'll reheat well a second time."

Relaying the message to his best friend, Vaughn came back on. "We'll be over in five minutes."


	3. 4x03: The Awful Truth

**4x03: The Awful Truth**

Sydney and Nadia were back from Moscow in less than twenty hours, only to have to go directly to another briefing, followed by another mission. Nadia hadn't been approved to be a permanent member of the team yet, and didn't go with Sydney, Vaughn, Dixon, and Marshall to hack into a bank president's safe in the Bahamas, but she took it lightly, telling her sister that she was going to spend the day off getting settled into their apartment.

Surprisingly, everything on the mission went right according to plan. While Vaughn and Dixon were causing a distraction for the bank president, Sydney and Marshall broke into the safe in his office and retrieved the information they were looking for – the location of a computer called "The Valta". And then they all boarded the plane to head home; Sydney and Vaughn sitting together to discuss the details of the party and those friends they still needed to call over the weekend.

Once they had that all planned, Sydney leaned back in her seat and sighed, and Vaughn watched her and smirked, leaning back as well. "That mission was actually fun, don't you think?"

"Yeah, it was," she grinned back. "It seems like you and Dixon had fun staging that fight."

He laughed. "That was the best part, actually," Vaughn joked. "I felt like I was twelve again."

After their mutual laughter had settled down and they fell into a comfortable silence, Vaughn remembered that he forgot to ask her, "How was your trip to Moscow?"

"It was good," Sydney stated solemnly, and then decided that if there was anyone on earth she could confide in with the truth, it was Vaughn. She shrugged one shoulder, "Nadia wanted to know if I knew who killed our mother… I hated lying to her."

"But could she handle the truth?"

"I don't know," she shook her head slightly. "But she deserves to know why mom was killed. I don't want her to romanticize what kind of person she was because it'll only hurt her when she does find out the truth."

"So, you're planning on telling her then," he correctly assumed by the way Sydney nodded, biting her lip.

"After the party on Sunday, though… I don't want that to ruin it for Eric."

He nodded, understanding her reasoning and tried to subtly change the subject again to get to what he'd been thinking about since their dinner plans had gone awry, and he stuttered, "Hey, um…" He forced the lump away from his throat by swallowing and started again, "So, I was thinking that since it's still early, maybe we could out to eat tonight? Save us the trouble of having another meal ruined."

She genuinely smiled at his lightheartedness. "I'd like that."

Sydney rushed home as soon as she'd quickly typed up her report, just to get started on tidying up the apartment. She knew she had a couple of days, but with going out with Vaughn that evening and the knowledge that at any moment, they could be called in to work again, she wanted to get anything major done. Plus, she knew there were things to buy and food to plan for…

She was still going over a mental checklist when she entered her apartment and found that Nadia had not only gotten the rest of her things out of the main rooms of the apartment, but she'd cleaned too, judging by the fresh, chemical smells of cleaning supplies Sydney noted as she came into the kitchen. And, on top of that, there was a paper bag full of party goods on the counter. She was just peeking inside the bag when Nadia emerged from her room.

"Oh, hey," Nadia spoke casually. "How was the mission?"

"Fast. You cleaned _and_ went shopping for the party?"

"You said you wanted help," Nadia smiled. "I got plastic plates and cups so that we won't have to worry about doing as many dishes afterward – I hope that's okay."

"That's perfect," Sydney assured her. "And here I thought I'd be spending every spare minute this weekend getting the house ready for guests."

But Nadia took that the wrong way, "If I'm being too intrusive–"

"You're _not_," Sydney stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. "I'm just excited that I don't have to worry about getting home early tonight after my dinner with Vaughn just to clean."

Her sister's eyes lit up, "You're going out?"

"Yes, finally," Sydney rolled her eyes slightly. She walked toward her bedroom to change and Nadia followed because Sydney was explaining, "We have a long history of bad timing when it comes to dating. What most people consider mundane in the way of going out to dinner or a movie usually gets interrupted with us. You'll see," she tossed over her shoulder as she reached into her closet for fresh clothes.

"Well, hopefully things will get easier for you."

"Yeah, I hope so too."

"Where are you going for dinner?"

Sydney pulled a dress out and glanced at the floor to chuckle, "You know, I completely forgot to ask him. But I don't care – anywhere will be nice at this point, as long as we can get through one dinner without being interrupted by armed gunmen."

Nadia laughed too. "I take it that's happened."

"You would be surprised what we've been through."

Fortunately, there were no weapon-toting assassins or even anyone that recognized them at all, which made for a nice evening. Choosing to eat at a popular seafood restaurant in Malibu that sat on the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean, they had to wait about an hour for a table and chose to sit outside on the wooden deck, listening to the waves crash up on the shore below them. During that time and all of dinner, they avoided talking about work and the heartache of the previous year, and instead focused on finding out as much about each other as they could; talking about what they each were like as children, and in high school and college. They laughed more than anything, and by the time Vaughn dropped Sydney off at home, they were a new couple.

"This really felt like a first date," Sydney commented as Vaughn walked her to the front door. "You know, without all the nervousness."

"Yeah, it was," Vaughn agreed. Then as they turned to face one another, it was unclear what should happen next.

Sydney slowly dropped her eyes from his. "Vaughn… Thank you for tonight," she quietly prefaced, knowing that there was something deeper she was going to say. "But…I still don't–"

"Syd," he interjected, shaking his head and knowing they were going to have a conversation they'd already had. "This was our first date; that's all it was." Then he smiled to assure her that he was fine with her earlier decision to take things slowly. Taking a step forward and reaching for her hand, Sydney held her breath, but he just lifted her hand and kissed the back of it, never breaking eye contact with her. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," she answered back, and as he released her and she went through the door, she tried to ignore the way her heart had been pounding with expectation, and the way it sped up with what had ended up being his parting gesture. He was still the perfect gentleman she remembered.

* * *

Weiss knocking on the door of Sydney's apartment was a rare thing for him to do, but since Nadia had moved in, he felt weird just walking in anymore. …Although his mind did race when he imagined Nadia in the same position as Sydney had been that one time late one night, fresh out of a shower, topless… _Wasn't she topless? _his mind strained to remember just as the door opened and he found himself standing on the other side of the stoop from Nadia.

"Hi," she smiled. "You're here early. The party doesn't start for over an hour."

"I know; I just thought I'd come by to see if there was anything I could do to help," he fibbed. Truth was, although he was looking forward to the party and spending time with his friends, he doubted that he would be able to get to know Nadia very well in a crowd. Going early to "help out" while they chit-chatted seemed like a better plan.

She led the way into the kitchen and gestured to a stool opposite the bar. "I'm just cutting up some vegetables for dinner–"

"Vegetables??" Weiss cringed. "Please tell me that's not all we're having."

"The main course is pizza," she consoled him and he let out a breath.

"Thank God – that's more my style." Pleased at seeing her smile, he asked, "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Sure," she said lightly and then lifted up a strainer to place it on the counter next to him. "Snap the green beans." She put an empty pot on his other side as he got to work.

Sydney showed up from her run on the beach a few minutes after his arrival, and headed for the shower, and Weiss knew he had to talk fast if there was anything he really wanted to know about Nadia. "So, what brought you back to L.A.? Last I heard, you had left us for good."

Nadia bobbed her head in acknowledgement. "I wanted to talk to Sydney about our mother, and then I decided to look for a job when she invited me to move in."

"Oh yeah? Any offers yet?" he asked just a touch too hopefully.

"One," she smiled, trying to keep APO's existence a secret. "I should hear in the next week or so if it's definite."

"So I guess you'll be staying."

"I hope to."

He smiled with her and then they each went back to their veggies as Sydney came into the room. "That was a fast shower," Weiss commented.

"Comes with the training," she answered. "Plus, I have to keep an eye on you."

"Why, because you don't trust me with your sister?"

"No, I was just thinking of the safety of the contents of my refrigerator, but now that I think about it… Nadia, is he behaving himself?"

Her sister laughed, "Yes, he's being a good boy so far."

"Ha, ha," he mocked. "You two think you're _so_ cute."

"And _you_ don't think so?" Nadia asked directly, hiding her smirk.

Meeting her eyes, Weiss froze with a bean in his hand in mid-air as he was preparing to toss it in the pot and tried to think of something witty to say. But his mind was blank.

"Eric?" Nadia prodded, waving a hand in front of his face.

Sydney made a big gesture of leaning over his shoulder from behind to look at his face. "I think you've attained the impossible, Nadia: you've completely stumped him."

He rolled his eyes then and went back to his chore, mumbling, "You are way too much like your sister."

"Good," Sydney answered, "Then I know I can trust you with her because she would kick your ass otherwise." And then both women laughed.

* * *

The party went off without a hitch, and Weiss genuinely seemed to enjoy spending time with the friends he hardly got to see anymore thanks to his job. And it was during that evening that Vaughn and Sydney started noticing the little attraction going on between him and Nadia, which was something they discussed as they watched them from across the room. It wasn't a bad thing to happen, as long as they ended up happy and not hating each other.

Everyone seemed to be having a great time, until Jack showed up and wanted to speak privately with Sydney; she had an idea what it was about before he even brought it up. He wanted to keep their little secret about his killing Irina to themselves, especially because Nadia had determined to kill the man responsible. By the end of the conversation, she'd made it clear that she was going to reveal everything to her sister whether he liked it or not.

Jack was a little desperate, Sydney knew, when he asked if she was going to tell her before their next mission the next morning just after he'd informed her that he was going to do a psych-eval on her. Sydney also knew he had something more than just volunteering to do the necessary tests on her sister to be able to accept her into their organization, but she just didn't know what as of yet.

The next thirty-six hours were harrowing ones as Sydney single-handedly had to get herself invited into a killer's house by pretending to be a victim of an abusive relationship when he happened upon her staged car accident. It worked like a charm as usual, but that didn't stop the fear from building in Vaughn's mind and heart as he watched the scene play out on a screen in the safety of the van that he and Marshall and Dixon were in nearby. Of course, it didn't help that Marshall kept bringing up Bishop's reputation as a wife-killer – something that Vaughn himself hadn't yet put in its rightful spot in his own past. He was actually glad for the reprieve of getting out of the van to contact Sydney via a parabolic microphone.

As he waited on a hillside hundreds of feet outside of Bishop's house, Vaughn decided to make the best of the mission. When he saw Sydney in her blonde wig emerge on a back upstairs balcony, the corners of his lips turned up. Pointing the microphone toward her, he lazily drawled, "Shotgun to Phoenix…how do you read?"

She automatically smiled, hearing his voice materialize out of nowhere. "That's so weird. It sounds like you're right next to me," she told him as her eyes scanned the horizon, looking for where he might be. "You can hear me?"

"No," he teasingly laughed.

She grinned back, dropping her head. "Good… It's like talking to my conscience."

"It _is_ a little bit, isn't it?" he finished their upbeat conversation and then checked in with Marshall to get the mission over with as soon as possible, passing the information she needed on to her as it was given him.

Within minutes, they had what they needed and all she had to do was get out of the house. But Vaughn's nervousness turned into fear again when she was headed for the front door only to run directly into Bishop as he returned home. Over the next couple of hours, Vaughn moved around on the hill to see if he could find her through each and every window, finally finding her sitting on the terrace beside his indoor pool as Bishop handed her a drink. So far, he knew she was okay, and when he was able to contact her with the mike, he desperately pleaded with her to just blow her cover and get out.

But Sydney was always a stickler for details, and all she could think about was making sure the CIA obtained the Valta before she tried to make her escape as she used every trick in the book to secretly communicate with Vaughn. But after finding out that the CIA team was down and Weiss had been captured, Bishop received a phone call that alerted him to Sydney's agent status. She knew before he hung up that she was in trouble.

Remembering Vaughn's teasing but serious words as she left the van that morning, telling her that if she got in trouble, she should just cry "uncle", Sydney realized that she would have to use it.

Vaughn's heart leapt into his throat when he heard the code word, and the next few minutes were even worse as he and Dixon ran to the house to back her up and couldn't find her anywhere. They eventually tracked her down, and Vaughn was only mildly surprised to come face-to-face with his best friend in a stairwell as they both chased down Bishop and his men. But Weiss's comment for finding out the truth about both him and Sydney was classic Eric Weiss: "Dude, I _knew _it!" Vaughn could only shrug and accept that Eric would want to know everything, which he'd believed would've happened eventually. He was just glad it was sooner rather than later.

In the end, Nadia was the one to deliver the fatal shot – or shots, as she unloaded her weapon – on Bishop, using the excuse that he'd been the one responsible for their mother's death; and for the time being, Sydney knew that her father had once again manipulated everything his way. She just wondered how long the lie would hold.

But before she could really take a chance to react, a door opened in the distance, and Vaughn ran toward them. Sydney watched as a wave of relief passed over his face when he saw her unharmed and she approached him halfway, declaring that she was alright, but he still pulled her into his arms and let out a breath as he held her. He imagined that he would always feel that sense of relief after every mission from now on.

Weiss walked past as they were still locked in their embrace and mumbled, "You two make me sick. Pretending to want to become a teacher again." He shook his head at Vaughn and then turned to Sydney, "And you…using the same cover story that you had at SD-6? That's lame."

"No, that's our job," she countered as Vaughn released her. "You actually _believing_ it was lame," she teased him.

He was shaking his head again, unable to retort as he glanced around and saw the others there. "Jack…and _Nadia??_ You're in on this _too_??"

Vaughn reached over and patted his friend's shoulder, "It's okay, Eric."

But Weiss was busy adding the old faces to the mental list he had going and waved him off, "Okay, whoever you guys are working for, I want in."

It didn't take much convincing to get Weiss on the team with the rest of them at APO – especially after he found out that their black ops division had also confiscated Marshall after his unexpected layoff from the CIA. At that point, seeing that all of his friends were there, he would've sold his soul to get a spot on that team. Fortunately, Chase didn't make him go quite that far; he just had to fake-quit the CIA like everyone else. Weiss did it eloquently by turning in his resignation saying that he was going to be a full-time magician.

"Now, _that_, my friend," Vaughn told him pointedly as soon as he heard, "is _really_ lame."


	4. 4x04: Détente

**A/N:** This is my favorite chapter of this fic so far. Enjoy!!

**

* * *

****4x04: Détente **

"There's a lot of basic geometry used in playing pool," Vaughn explained as he rounded the table, walking toward Sydney on the other side. "For a shot like this," he gestured to the balls on the green felt, "your best bet is to use the diamond pattern." Adjusting the cue stick in his hand, he said, "Here, I'll show you. Do you mind?"

Sydney shrugged and shook her head at the same time. "Does this mean our game is over?"

"We can play again," he offered as compromise.

Grinning as if she'd gotten exactly what she was hoping for, Sydney shrugged again. "Okay," she said lightly. "I was losing this game pretty badly anyway."

He laughed with her and then proceeded with his lesson. But standing in front of her and leaning over the table to explain what he'd meant by the "diamond pattern" was not a great idea. Sydney's eyes were immediately focused on a certain part of Vaughn's anatomy that was tightly – _and_ _gorgeously_, she mentally added – wrapped in light blue denim, and thoughts of pool were pushed way off to the side of her mind.

"…And that's how you do it," he finished a minute later and stood up to look over his shoulder at her.

Sydney pried her eyes off of him just in time and glanced at the table and noticed that the ball he was trying to sink was missing, meaning that he must've been successful at banking his shot. "Sorry," she blushed and grinned, leaning on the cue stick in front of her. "I was a little…_distracted_… Could you repeat that for me?"

She knew that he knew where her mind had been the second he started quietly chuckling, and that only made her grin widen. "Okay," he conceded, "but _you're_ going to do it this time."

A mildly frustrated sigh was Sydney's answer as she stepped closer to the table at his coaxing and he took a moment to reposition the balls on the table to recreate the shot. "Okay," he started again, leaning close to her side over the table to show her. And when she silently giggled at his nearness, he grinned and leaned in an inch more, just enough to where she could smell his aftershave. It was quite unnerving, especially when she was honestly _trying _to pay attention.

"Try to follow this line," he was saying as he showed her the line he was talking about by pointing the stick at the other side of the table. "Hit the cue ball pretty hard to make sure it knocks the other ball all the way to that corner pocket," he pointed. And then he stepped back to give her some room, much to her disappointment.

Focusing on the shot and executing it perfectly, Sydney landed her target ball into the back corner pocket, and then she stood up and cheered, "I did it!"

"See?" he grinned, stepping in front of her, "I knew I could make a pool shark out of you yet."

Sensing the tense moment building as they continued to stare at each other, nearly toe-to-toe in such close proximity, Vaughn felt the need to pull away a little. "Wanna play again now?" he offered, moving over to reach for the triangle hanging on the wall to set the balls in place on the table as Sydney nodded.

He'd only gotten about three balls in place when some drunk stumbled over to their little alcove from his seat at the bar, mumbling one pick-up line after another, directed at Sydney. She was just ignoring him, but by the time he walked up right behind her, and Vaughn could actually make out what he was saying, he heard him comment, "Now, that's one fine piece of a–" But his word was cut off because he had the unfortunate gall to reach for Sydney's jean-clad butt at the same time. She'd immediately grabbed his hand and spun around, twisting his arm at the wrist until the guy was on his knees.

"What was that?" she asked in a confident tone right to the drunk's face, but the guy was too pained to answer. "You weren't just reaching to touch my ass, were you?"

He shook his head pathetically, his mouth still agape with pain as Vaughn continued to look on to the scene with amusement. And then she twisted his arm some more and threw the man to the ground. Another man came over to her, complaining something about not being nice to his friend, but just as he got within reachable distance, Sydney took care of him with a few swift moves to the groin and gut, finally using her clasped fists on the back of the guy's head when he doubled over to knock him out and made him fall to the floor.

Looking around defiantly at the other men in the room, non-verbally challenging them to do their worst to her, she eventually laid her cue stick across the table and shook her head at Vaughn. "Can we get out of here?" she almost pleaded and Vaughn was quick to answer affirmatively, set his stick down as well, and escorted her to the door.

"I'm sorry…" Sydney spoke quietly, several minutes after they'd left and drove in Vaughn's car in silence. "I shouldn't have done that."

She was looking down at her hands in her lap in shame, but Vaughn couldn't understand why. "That's okay, Syd. That guy deserved every bit of what you gave him. Both of them did."

"No, that's not what I mean," she shook her head. "I mean…I've done this before on dates and it's so embarrassing. It always scares guys off."

"Why?" he laughed, glancing over at her from the road in front of him.

She stared at him from her seat on the passenger's side. "Because it should be the _man's_ job to protect the woman on a date. Doesn't it bother you?"

He chuckled, "It never has before."

"But…"

"Sydney," he interrupted before she could argue any more. "From the moment I met you, I knew you were a strong person. If you had waited in there for me to step up and protect you, I would've thought something was _wrong_ with you. You do a heck of a lot more damage to a jerk like that than I could. I'm just glad I was there to see it."

When he finished his little speech with a smile, Sydney knew that he wasn't kidding. And a few days later on their next op, Vaughn proved that he meant what he'd said.

After Vaughn met with an informant whose boss stole a container of Black Thorine and he passed on the routing number to his superior's bank account so that the CIA could keep tabs on it, the Russian police bust in and killed the informant. Holding their guns on Vaughn in a position of surrender, he spoke what he knew to be the truth, "I'm not the one you need to worry about," referring to Sydney waiting and watching from her hiding spot. And within moments, Sydney single-handedly had all of the men subdued enough for the two of them to make their escape.

On the flight home, as they recapped the mission and laughed about the shock on the policemen's faces when Sydney attacked them, their conversation gradually turned to back to their last date as they compared the two incidents. "I really enjoyed playing pool with you," she admitted.

"Me too," Vaughn smiled, reaching over the armrest between them to toy with the fingers of her right hand. "I've wanted to do that since…our first date."

She narrowed her eyebrows slightly as she tilted her head at him. "We _did_ talk about playing pool together during our dinner in Nice, didn't we?"

"Mm hmm," he nodded affirmatively.

Sydney smiled with the memory and lifted her hand a little to give him better access to the valleys between her fingers. "You were _such_ a flirt that night."

"Says the kettle," he teased and she grinned.

"I was really nervous."

"You?"

"Yeah…" She paused, letting the sensation of his feathery-light touch on the skin on her hand send chills throughout her body to the ends of her appendages. Then she managed to regain her focus. "What we…considered doing that night… The risks we thought about taking," she squeezed her eyes shut with the enormity of it.

"I know," he quietly agreed, completing the move to lace his fingers with hers from the back of her hand.

But she wasn't finished with what she was trying to say. "I was ready to sacrifice it all for that one night with you, and I know that it would've been well worth it."

"What?"

Instead of answering, she turned her innocent eyes to his. "Isn't that what you're thinking?"

"Now or that night?"

"Now."

He seriously considered that for a few seconds, weighing all of the risks with the importance of her safety, along with how amazing he later found out she was in the bedroom. "I don't know," he finally answered, shaking his head and looking down at the plane floor in front of him. "Your life has always been most important to me. I hated myself for putting it at such great risk that night. In fact, that was the first time I ever killed out of instinct; it had always been well-thought-out and planned in every other instance before."

Sydney stared at him beside her for a long moment, letting that knowledge sink in. "That was why you almost kissed me in that alley. You were relieved…"

"Yeah," he nodded definitely; proving that "relieved" was way too small of a word to describe the emotions he had felt in that moment. "More like 'desperate' to make sure you were okay."

Understanding with a nod, Sydney turned to look out at the darkened sky beyond her small window. Then from his vantage point, he saw her eyes close and smile; he could just see the faint dimple in her right cheek. "It was perfect though…" she sighed softly and he grinned with her in agreement as he lifted her hand to his lips to kiss it, knowing she was still thinking about that night in Nice before they were interrupted.

Arriving at home once Vaughn had dropped her off, Sydney walked into her apartment and stopped in her tracks when she saw her boss, her mortal enemy, and her sister's father all wrapped up in one Arvin Sloane, sitting at her kitchen counter, in the privacy of her own home. It was the first time he'd ever had the nerve to step foot into her house, and Sydney had never felt so violated in her life.

He asked about the mission and Sydney brushed him off by saying there was a report waiting for him in the office. Nadia tried to explain that she'd invited him to come there, so that she wouldn't place the blame completely on him for his presence, but Sydney was too overwhelmed to accept it. "Get out," she demanded, and fortunately, for his sake, Sloane got up, said goodbye to his daughter and Sydney and left.

Nadia was all apologies but Sydney was still not in the mood to hear it, trying to explain why she hated him so much. But her sister interrupted and divulged that she knew about how her father had killed Sydney's fiancé and her best friend. But Sydney still couldn't understand why she'd allowed him inside, knowing all of that. "It's not easy to reconcile the past," Nadia said pointedly. "I thought you had."

And then she walked away to the privacy of her room, leaving Sydney replaying the conversation in her head and wondering if she'd said anything out of line. Defiantly deciding that she hadn't, she moved to the other side of their shared apartment to her room, shut the door, and prepared for bed.

But one night's sleep wasn't enough to quell her rage against the man that had been unwelcome in her house, and it was quite evident in their morning briefing when she questioned him and his unnamed "sources" repeatedly, making the tension in the room palpable. She managed to pay attention for the rest of the meeting to know what the mission ahead held for them, but she still hadn't completely let it go even when she was in her shared office with Dixon getting completely prepared.

Noticing she was just staring off into space for several minutes, Dixon made his way over to her desk and perched himself on the edge to ask what was wrong and she immediately confided in him, knowing that he was one that would certainly understand, having lost a loved one at the hands of their boss. Then he told her about a reoccurring dream that he often had about Diane and how it always ended the same…with Diane telling him to do the right thing. And when he admitted to Sydney that that's how he makes his peace with working for Sloane – that it's "the right decision…today" – Sydney suddenly felt more at ease. And when he left, she knew what it was she had to do.

Vaughn was just getting ready to go into her office when she came out, asking if their plans to go out to dinner with Weiss and Nadia were still on, as soon as they finished this next mission. She'd told him about Sloane's appearance in her house and the mild fight she'd had with Nadia over it while he was driving her to work. Presently, Sydney nodded, assuring him that she would find out and then headed toward the gun range, where Dixon had mentioned seeing Nadia go after the meeting.

Her little sister was making a very large hole in the head of her paper victim with her speeding bullets as Sydney approached and waited for her weapon to be emptied. But as soon as there was quiet, Sydney spoke quickly, getting Nadia's attention and making her apologies. Nadia was understanding, especially when Sydney confessed that she'd felt the same way about their mother after her return, regardless of the woman's criminal background.

Then the sisters bonded the way they knew how: by firing off some more rounds to their targets, side-by-side. Once they were out of ammo, they each took off their goggles and ear protection and secured their weapons to put them away. "Are we still on for tomorrow night?" Sydney asked her sister without looking up at her.

"Of course," Nadia answered easily. "But we all could have dinner tonight, couldn't we? I mean, we still have plenty of time before we leave for the operation."

Thinking about that for a moment, Sydney offered, "You know what? Let's you and I just hang out at home tonight. We'll raid the 'fridge and eat ice cream, watch old movies…"

Nadia was almost chuckling as she nodded. "Sounds like fun."

On her way out, Nadia made sure to let Weiss know of her plans with her sister before heading home to pack and relax like she and Sydney had planned. They'd made tentative plans to spend the evening together going to a movie, but she was sure that it was more important that she and Sydney get to know each other a little better too. "Besides, we're going to all be together on the mission and then have dinner tomorrow night–"

"I know," Weiss interrupted. "_All _of us…together…" She cocked her head a little but didn't answer, hoping he would elaborate. Weiss sighed lightly and admitted, "I was hoping that maybe we could spend some time together…alone."

"Hey, we were alone last night, when you showed me those magic tricks."

"Yeah, but that was, like, a half an hour, and I was just goofing off. I want to…spend some real time with you. By ourselves..."

"Oh," she smiled knowingly, not resisting the urge to tease him just a little bit. "You mean…like a date?"

"Yes – No!" he corrected. "No, you know, just us…hanging out…getting to know each other…"

"Alone," she added and he nodded. "And you don't call that a date?"

Smiling embarrassedly when he realized he was caught, Weiss sighed again. "Okay, fine. Call it what you want. And I'll pick you up Friday night at seven."

He walked away before she could argue with him, while Nadia thought, _Hmm…well, I like a guy that knows how to take charge…_

* * *

Nadia could not resist toying with Weiss even at the beginning of the mission, once the four of them were all set up in the hotel room adjacent to man's whose computer and PDA hard drives they needed to copy. She was busy putting on her maid's uniform when Weiss read her nametag and made a comment that he didn't "buy" her as a "Gretchen."

"Oh no?" she replied and turned around and impressed him with her perfect German, smiling while putting him in his place. _One point for Nadia._

But he was ready with his next comment and had actually been thinking about it since the moment they'd found out each of their positions for the mission. Waiting until she came back to the room after vacuuming the hall to distract the guards while Sydney drilled a small hole in the connecting wall to the other room, Weiss opened the door to her knock and mildly complained, "Oh, I'm sorry. I ordered a _French_ maid."

She could only laugh as they went back into the room, and he gave himself a mental point in this little game they were playing.

Within a few minutes of watching Tambor at his computer, the group of four began to wonder why it was taking him so long to leave for the gambling tables downstairs, as was his habit. Instead, when he sat down to watch a soccer match with a drink in hand, and they discovered that he owned the team, they knew they'd have to come up with another plan to get into his room.

Once Nadia recognized a bottle of perfume on the dresser in Tambor's room, the two women started noticing other details and within seconds, they'd hatched a new plan…and the guys were clueless because they hadn't voiced any of it. While Nadia went to a room across the hall where she'd seen a woman returning with numerous packages from designer clothing stores, in order to "borrow" some clothes, Sydney explained everything to the men, including the ones listening via the comm.

Sloane balked at the idea of using Tambor's apparent girlfriend to get into the room because they knew nothing about her, but Sydney continued to convince him and her father that it would be easy. And all the while she was detailing the information she'd gathered from just the things visible on the camera they had in their room, Vaughn was in complete and utter awe.

Sydney finally took notice. "Why are you smiling?" she had to know.

And Vaughn couldn't hide his smile, no matter how hard he tried. "I don't know," he placated and then the attention was off of him when Nadia came back into the room with shopping bags in hand.

Weiss was sincerely impressed as well, with just the fact that Nadia had stolen the clothing, and then when the women appeared in the room next door with the girlfriend within a couple of hours, they were truly blown away. Watching the girls via the camera, Vaughn and Weiss were sitting back and enjoying the show.

Vaughn's eyes were all on Sydney, of course, and he was amazed. "She's cloning the hard drive and he's in the room."

Likewise, Weiss was busy watching Nadia discuss the game with Tambor. "How the hell does she know about the Slovac Devils? Was that in the file?"

"Maybe she's a soccer fan," Vaughn lightly replied.

"Oh, God," he laughed. "This is the greatest girl ever."

Sydney finished with the hard drive on the computer and got up with the cloning drive in hand. "She got it," Vaughn quietly cheered. And then when he realized something, he commented, "I didn't know you like soccer."

"I do now. Oh, by the way, it's called 'futball'."

"I'm sorry…?"

"Futball."

"Futball," Vaughn humored him by repeating the word.

"Fuuut-ball," Weiss continued to correct him. "Fuuut," he nodded. "Right."

"Right."

Sydney made the move to the couch to lean over Nadia's shoulder under the guise of showing her something in a magazine, and Nadia secretly handed her Tambor's PDA.

"Wait. Did you see that?" Weiss chuckled. "She just palmed the PDA from his jacket! That's magic, man. I showed her that with like a business card. It's like _fazsham!_ You know? She's _amazing_--"

"I get it – she's incredible," Vaughn placated. "'Fazsham'?"

"Yeah, fazsham," was Weiss's confident reply and Vaughn laughed. But his mind was on his few minutes spent with Nadia the night before while Vaughn and Sydney were out playing pool when he'd taught her a couple of magic tricks – palming a business card had been one of them. He was duly impressed that she'd actually learned something from him that was useful while on a mission…and he could see himself teaching her a lot more things… …_And maybe learning a few too,_ he mentally added.

"It wouldn't be weird for you, would it?" Weiss asked Vaughn when it occurred to him that it might be. "If we were…dating sisters?"

Vaughn just gave him a look and shook his head slightly. And then their attention was caught up wondering how Nadia was going to get Tambor's PDA back into his pocket once he'd jumped up from the couch. And their fears only worsened when Tambor noticed it was missing and called his guards and demanded that both Sydney and Nadia be searched. But Nadia was quick on her feet and pretended to pick up the electronic device from the floor, accusing the man of freaking out over something he himself had dropped. It was a perfect reason for the two girls to get out of the room, so they went along with it when the girlfriend suggested they leave.

Once they were safely back out in the hallway, Weiss leaned back and chuckled. "Okay, it's official. I'm in love."

* * *

Sloane was bitter and angry that his daughter and Sydney had blatantly disobeyed his orders while in the field, regardless of the fact that they'd succeeded. He reprimanded them in his office shortly after their arrival home and while Nadia was apologetic, Sydney only got angrier as Sloane lectured them about what was acceptable. She immediately got right into his face and let him know exactly how she felt, which was really no different than she had three years earlier. Fortunately, Marshall's timing was perfect when he appeared at the door to Sloane's office and announced that he'd cracked Tambor's hard drives and knew where they could find the Black Thorine they were after.

Although they ran up against several roadblocks – Sloane's reluctance to send Sydney and Nadia in after their insubordination as one of them – the mission to retrieve what turned out to be several vials ended up successful. Jack had been the one to convince Sloane that he would not be able to keep their daughters from working together no matter how hard he tried; Sydney got to use her hatred and knowledge of her boss to their advantage and thereby release some of her anger; and the two sisters spent their half-hour waiting for the helicopter to pick them up from the boat, drinking Vodka and talking and getting to know each other better, none worse for the wear.

Vaughn could not have been more relieved when he heard Sydney tell him via the comm that they were ready to be picked up. As soon as they rendezvoused at the airport, he visibly relaxed and hugged her just as he had after the last few missions. Sydney actually giggled a little. "Vaughn, I'm okay."

"I know," he breathed, still not letting her go just yet. "I'm just glad."

Once they were back home and their reports were typed and handed it and they could officially call it a day, Sydney sighed and told her sister that she needed to talk to Sloane. Having an idea what it was about, she wished her luck and then finished cleaning her desk until Weiss came up and smiled at her. "I'm impressed," he grinned. "Have I told you that?"

"Impressed by what?"

"That my magic genius was so beneficial to our successful mission."

She furrowed her eyebrows slightly. "And how's that?"

"Oh, come on, the PDA…? I taught you how to do that the other night, remember?"

She teased, "Hm…it's not ringing a bell."

"Uhh, you're not serious!" he complained as he sat down on the edge of her desk. "Come on, you know, after Sydney and Vaughn went out, I came over to borrow a cup of sugar and I showed you…"

"Oh, so _that's _why you were there…to borrow sugar? Funny, but I don't remember you _leaving_ with any."

Weiss blushed but pointed out, "So you _do_ remember me showing you the business card trick."

"Yes," she finally confessed. "I take it you know more."

"Of course. In fact, here…" he pulled out a deck of cards from his pocket, which made her laugh out loud. "I'll show you my favorite card trick. But you have to be nice if I screw it up because it's been a while."

"Okay, I promise," she nodded and he started by having her pick a card from the middle of the deck.

After he'd successfully completed the trick and while she was still flabbergasted by it, he complimented her smile, saying that it was "unbelievable". Vaughn's timing was impeccable and when he asked if they were going to go, Weiss's short reply was, "Uh, yeah, we're going. We're just…flirting here, if you don't mind."

"Sorry," Vaughn smiled, surprised by his friend's openness. And then as usual, he immediately wondered, "Where's Syd?"

Nadia answered, "She's talking to my father. I'm sure it won't take long. Should we start heading out?"

Standing up with the men, the three of them made their way to the main hallway in direct line of sight from Sloane's office so that Sydney would see them when she was through setting things straight with their boss.

Vaughn started a lighthearted conversation to keep from wondering what was being said in that office until he could find out from Sydney himself. "So, Nadia…you like futball, I'm assuming."

"Football, no," she shook her head disgustedly. "It's too barbaric and boring. Soccer is my sport. I thought you would've guessed that when we were with Tambor." She tossed a confused look between the two men when Vaughn snorted.

"I was talking about soccer. Weiss said it's supposed to be called 'fuuut-ball'," he joked and the two of them started laughing as Weiss pointed to his chest in surrender.

"Hey, in my defense, that's what it's called almost everywhere but the U.S.," he laughed with embarrassment.

His comment only made Nadia laugh even more as she turned when they noticed Sydney walking toward them.

"What's going on?" Sydney asked suspiciously, curious about the topic of conversation that had them laughing so much.

"We're just picking on Eric," Nadia said, leaning into his side as she half-hugged him.

"Uh, _yeah_," he agreed, nodding.

Sydney joined in the smiles, even though she was still in the dark about the subject, as they all turned to head toward the hallway to leave. While they waited on the elevator, Vaughn asked seriously, "Is everything…okay?" gesturing with his head back toward the offices.

She nodded. "Yep. I still have my job." She rocked her head to the side and quietly finished, "And Sloane knows how I really feel about him now, so that's a load off of my mind."

"Good," Vaughn replied, reaching over to squeeze her hand as they stepped onto the elevator with the other couple. He knew that Sydney always had trouble concealing her true feelings from her friends and her hatred from her enemies, and at long last, he was glad that she no longer had to keep them hidden. _Finally_.


	5. 4x05: Ice

**A/N: **Sorry I didn't post this sooner - life has been crazy hectic and stressful the last few weeks. This is the last of the pre-written chapters I have available, and even though I written halfway through the next (new) chapter, it may be a while before I can finish it. Hope you guys will hang in there and wait for it. :) Thanks so much for reading and for your reviews so far!!

Enjoy!

* * *

**4x05: Ice**

The foursome chose a casual Italian bistro for dinner, sitting outside under the stars in the cool night air to have their meal.

"So…tell me about the two of you…how you became a couple," Nadia began addressing Sydney and Vaughn, leaning on her clasped hands with her elbows on the table just after they'd all ordered their main course. "I don't think I've ever heard that story."

Weiss leaned back in his chair and folded his arms on his chest. "That'll only take a week," he sarcastically complained.

Smiling, but mostly ignoring him, Nadia clarified, "I mean, I know the basics: that Vaughn was your handler when you worked for my father for SD-6, but how did you end up together? And when?"

Nervously looking at each other to see who should answer the question, Vaughn was the one to nod at Sydney to do the talking; that way she could be the one to decide how much to divulge to her sister. He was interested to hear how she would reply.

"Well…um," Sydney tried to think quickly. "Vaughn and I… We just grew really close over that year and a half of working together, and as soon as SD-6 and the Alliance were dismantled, we…started dating."

"'_Dating_'?" Weiss snorted. "As I recall, you jump-started that relationship with your tongues. I wouldn't call that your typical form of 'dating'."

Vaughn shot his best friend a look and then tried to explain for Nadia's sake, "Our…first kiss was while we were still in the SD-6 offices the night of the takedown. It just…happened that way," he shrugged one shoulder and then glanced at Sydney, who was smiling at him nostalgically.

Sydney continued with the story. "Vaughn and I were going to take our first vacation together the night I…fought Francie's double, passed out, and disappeared for those two years."

"Oh my gosh," Nadia mumbled sympathetically. "How terrible."

"Yeah," her sister nodded. "And when I woke up, I was unaware that two years had passed with everyone believing I was dead the whole time, and in the meantime, Vaughn had married Lauren."

Even though he'd known it was coming, Vaughn still wasn't prepared to hear Lauren's name or feel as guilty as he felt in that moment. Leaning forward on his elbows on the table, he placed his fist against his lips and fought the rage he felt building deep within his chest. By the time he had it under control and was again conscious of the conversation happening around him, the topic was almost exhausted.

"So, now that it's all over with, you two are trying again," the younger woman concluded.

Sydney nodded once and added, "With some major differences. We're taking things very slow this time because we know that our lives can change in the blink of an eye… Neither one of us wants to hurt again like we did when we lost each other. Plus, there are still some major issues we need to work through."

"Oh, geez…" Weiss muttered with a roll of his eyes. "You guys and your 'issues'…"

"What?" Nadia asked her date as she leaned back in her seat. "I can certainly understand that there are a lot of things for them to work out after all they've been through," she gestured to the couple on the other side of the table. "You should cut them a little slack."

"All I'm saying is that this time, I think they're spending way too much time thinking and not enough time _acting_." He raised an eyebrow playfully.

Nadia smiled slyly at her companion. "Oh yeah? Like not calling a first date for what it is?"

Weiss let out a small sigh with his blush, and decided not to fight the subject once he knew he was trapped by his own actions, just as Sydney looked over at Vaughn and realized he'd been unusually quiet. "You okay?" she asked him, reaching out under the table to touch his knee to get his attention.

He turned to her and offered a weak smile. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said lightly and then smiled more to try to convince her.

It seemed to work, at least until they made it back to the office to pick up their cars. The four of them had ridden together to the restaurant but because Sydney hadn't driven to work in almost a week, Vaughn took her home as usual. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked him again as soon as they were on their way to the highway that would take them home.

He nodded. "I'm fine," he repeated, and then knew that wouldn't be enough to keep her from interrogating him more until he confessed what was really on his mind. Instead, he gave her a half-truth, "It was…just a little weird recapping our entire relationship tonight in just a few words."

"Yeah," Sydney blinked and turned her eyes to the road ahead of them.

"I…just have to say something…" Vaughn began slowly, "I'm really sorry…for everything that you've gone through the last few years."

"Vaughn, you don't have to say that. It's…in the past. I'm okay now. Really."

He couldn't seem to let it slide. "Yeah, but…I'm the cause of a lot of your pain—"

"Stop it," she demanded, interrupting his insane apology. "Don't you dare blame yourself for what has happened to me. Vaughn, you've been the one thing I could count on in my life the last couple of years. Whether because of SD-6, or my kidnapping, or Lauren… You have been right there with me, helping me through it all, even when you couldn't – or _shouldn't_ – have."

There was silence in the car for a full minute as that sunk in, and Sydney stared at him, hoping that he truly understood. Finally, he rubbed at the left side of his face, touched the bottom of his nose nervously, and cleared his throat. "Okay," he quietly agreed with a nod, but he was still internally waging a war that he knew he'd have to deal with on his own, and possibly during his next counseling session within the next couple of weeks.

Sydney didn't press the issue anymore, and when he dropped her off in front of her house, she leaned over and impulsively kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you…again. I can't say that enough."

"There's no need to," he promised her with a slight smile, and then watched her get out of the car and walk inside, waving a goodbye to him from the front door.

He didn't realize that such a small, familiar act would still haunt him as much as it did.

* * *

As promised, Weiss picked Nadia up at seven o'clock on Friday evening, dressed in jeans and a nice Polo shirt. He grinned when he saw how casually Nadia was dressed, also in jeans, just as he'd hoped. "Ready?" he asked and she smiled.

"Where are we going?" she questioned as they walked out to his car.

"To the movies. I thought we could stop and get some fast food beforehand, if that's okay."

"Okay. I'd _love_ a hamburger," she spoke lightly.

Weiss looked at her in surprise as he opened the car door for her. "Really? I thought I'd have to talk you _into_ going to a place like that instead of a frou-frou salad buffet or something."

Nadia laughed. "I am a woman of many tastes. While salad would be a good choice health-wise, I know how to relax and eat junk food too."

"That's good," he said and then closed her door once she was settled in the seat before making his way around the car. He got in and finished, "I'd hate to have to beg."

Later, as they ate their juicy hamburgers at an outside table, Weiss explained how he'd lost weight and now ate his junk food in moderation, allowing himself one free day a week to eat whatever he wanted. She complimented him, saying that he looked really good, so he must be keeping to his strict eating habits, commenting that she'd noticed his meal choice the night before had been fairly healthy.

They chose a movie that sounded like something they would both like, although Weiss was more than a little surprised that she agreed to one with quite a bit of violence and action. As they walked out of the theatre discussing the film, and he casually slipped his arm around her shoulders, she said, "I really like the technological details they sometimes use in films. In fact, on more than one occasion, I've given ideas to our tech ops guys for things I've seen used in movies."

"Get out!" he exclaimed. "So have I!" Nadia blinked at Weiss's sudden outburst and craned her neck to look at him, which was slightly difficult with the positioning of his arm combined with their height difference. He bragged, "You know those tranquilizer lips you used to knock out that guy in Rio?" She nodded curiously as he pointed to his chest. "_My_ idea. I saw it used in some cheesy, made-for-TV, spy film that was on in the middle of the night one time."

"That was a good idea," she commended.

"Thank you," he replied proudly as they continued into the parking lot, enjoying each other's company, listening to the sounds of their footsteps on the gravel.

They were almost to his car when he realized the planned part of their evening was over and he drawled, "Sooo…I guess it's…time to go home." He dreaded hearing the sound of those words on his own lips.

"Do you like ice cream?"

He looked at her sideways at her unexpected question. "Of course. Why do you ask?"

She stopped beside the car and turned to face him. "I'm…just not ready to go home yet. And since it's your free junk-food day and I'm hungry for ice cream, and I know of this shop nearby that's open late, I thought…"

Without needing to hear another word, Weiss reached for her door handle. "For the record: You're a genius."

* * *

_He'd had it all planned out…what he would do to her…how he would make her pay for betraying him. Knowing she was right behind him and with just a slight turn of his head, he could give her a look that would frighten her even more, given her current state of helplessness. But he wasn't going to give her that satisfaction just yet. Instead he focused on setting up the supplies he was going to use to make the last minutes of her life as miserable as possible. He felt it was the only way he'd find justice._

_She was already tied with her hands above her head, keeping her feet from just touching the floor in one of those intimidating torture tactics he'd learned in his years as a spy. _

_Vaughn loathed this woman with a burning anger he thought would have never existed. But she'd brought it out in him by using him and his grief, and letting it carry on after months of trying to make their marriage work…even after the love of his life showed up alive, alone, and needing him. He wanted to be there at Sydney's side forever…and the only thing standing in his way was this volatile creature. But not for long._

_Hearing her beg for her life didn't stop him from meticulously laying out his tools, planning what he was going to use each one for and how much pain he was going to inflict. Her voice started to annoy him and when he turned around to yell at her to shut up, he was surprised to find Sydney's face staring back at him. _

_It was Sydney that was tied up by the hands, helpless and crying and scared…not Lauren. Immediately, Vaughn's heart rate sped up and he dropped the tools in his hand to run to her side and get her down. "Sydney, I'm so sorry," he cried out to her over and over, as his shaking hands were unable to get her restraints undone. "I didn't mean to… I wasn't trying to hurt you–"_

_And then he heard _her _voice – the voice of the object he'd meant to torture and kill. He quickly turned around and automatically stood in front of Sydney to protect her when he noticed Lauren holding a gun pointed at them. _

"_The Covenant should have just let you die in the fire," Lauren scorned, directing her comments at Sydney. "I guess I'll have to finish the job."_

_And with that she fired, while Vaughn yelled "No!" and blocked Sydney and waited for the painless feeling of death to strike._

Vaughn shot up in bed in a panic and tried desperately to get his heart rate down to a normal pace. He was out of breath and his lungs felt on fire as he tried to calm down and remind himself what was real and what was fictional. For the first few moments, it all sort of blurred together.

It was the fourth night in a row that he'd had a nightmare involving Lauren and her betrayal and the pain he'd subsequently caused Sydney. And each dream ended mere milliseconds from his own death…which ironically seemed like the best solution given the circumstances. The first of the most recent nightmares had started the night of his and Sydney's double date with Weiss and Nadia, and involved the night Sydney "died". Just like when he'd dropped her off that evening, he watched her walk inside the apartment, only to see it explode seconds later. Lauren then appeared beside him in his car, laughing and taunting him before raising a knife to his throat.

Another dream was set at Sydney's memorial service on the beach, and again Lauren was killing him. Only once did he dream that he got the satisfaction of killing her, only to have her jump up at the last second like those psycho-killers in horror films ready to have the last word. He'd woken up just a split-second before her uncharacteristic hunting knife pierced his skin.

Although the nightmares were nothing new, and he hadn't been a stranger to sleepless nights in the months after successfully killing Lauren, they had slacked off some since starting therapy, and he'd managed to get a good night's sleep now and then. But Sydney's innocent conversation with Nadia over dinner a few nights before when she'd merely been stating the facts of their relationship had triggered them again. It wasn't her fault – after all, they were _his_ problems he had to deal with. And when he looked at the clock, noted that it wasn't quite five in the morning and he would most likely not get back to sleep before it would be time to go to work, he knew he'd have to deal with it soon or else suffer physical consequences from severe fatigue.

_My next appointment with the psychologist is a week from Tuesday_, he reminded himself. And then he wondered how in the world he was going to last through the next ten days on one to two hours of decent sleep a night. He sighed and stared at the ceiling, and then decided that a jog on the beautiful Sunday morning might do him some good.

Heading in the opposite direction from Sydney's house, hoping to stay unnoticed, Vaughn jogged for miles, and returned back to Weiss's apartment long after dawn, when the sun was already settled into the morning sky. Weiss's car was still in the driveway, so Vaughn made sure to keep quiet in the house, thinking his best friend was taking advantage of the day off and sleeping in.

But he never saw Weiss get up or leave, although he'd had plenty of opportunities. Vaughn realized he was going to go crazy without anything to do to keep his mind occupied… The crossword in the newspaper was too boring, the sports section was old news to him because he'd fallen asleep the night before watching the sports channel, and the local news was too typical. The front page and the national news were the only topics that were even remotely interesting, but even those stories were flawed. If only the newspaper reporters knew what he knew…

By early afternoon, Vaughn had gone on four jogs; each one spurred on by the need to get the sound of Lauren's voice out of his head. He thought that he'd managed to mostly erase her from his memory, and the dreams had brought her back. Running helped, because focusing on the sound of his pounding steps kept her voice out, and for now, that was all he cared about.

He'd just returned from his final jog when he heard his cell phone ring. Digging for it in his pocket, he flipped it open and spoke a winded hello as he moved into the kitchen and reached for a bottle of water in the refrigerator.

"You sound out of breath," Weiss noticed right away. "I'm…not interrupting anything, am I?"

Vaughn snorted and practically growled, "Give me a break, Weiss. What do you want?"

"Grouch," the other man retorted, and then rushed on to keep from starting a fight. "Sloane's calling us all in. Get your cranky ass ready to go 'cuz the rest of are."

"Where are you?" Vaughn gave the apartment a cursory glance. "I thought you were still here."

"Nah, I left hours ago. Nadia and I met for brunch. What – did you go out jogging again?" His friend knew that if he wasn't there and didn't leave a note, then that was most likely what he was doing.

"Yeah," Vaughn admitted noncommittally. "Tell Sloane I'll be in as soon as I can."

"Okay, hurry up, slacker." Then he heard a click.

"Wuss," Vaughn mumbled when he knew Weiss had already hung up the phone before giving him a chance to reply.

Vaughn half-smiled at his friend as he hurried off to take a quick shower, knowing that he'd have to get his game face on and straighten his attitude a bit if he was going to face Sydney. He couldn't have her feeling the least bit guilty for something that was neither her fault nor within her control.

Fortunately, the fake smile on his face worked whenever Sydney would glance his way, and while in flight with her and Dixon and Weiss, the four of them actually managed to make nice, light conversation.

It was a completely different mood on the way home, however, when the guy they were meeting with in order to obtain a new chemical weapon exploded into a thousand frozen pieces. It grossed all of them out as they swept and brushed as many of the pieces as they could into a plastic bag and took what was left of the man back to APO to be analyzed. They certainly needed an explanation for the sake of the operation, but at the same time, none of the four wanted to talk about it.

To top it off, Vaughn was bugged by the fact that he'd been so sure he'd seen Lauren alive and walking around the marketplace where they were having the meeting. The woman's blonde hair, the shape of her body, the way she walked…it all looked familiar enough to Vaughn that he couldn't take his eyes off of her until he could see her face and know for sure that she wasn't Lauren. That bothered him too…probably more so than the guy shattering in his arms. As if the nightmares weren't enough…now he was hallucinating her too?

That night, Vaughn didn't get any sleep at all. Every time he would close his eyes, he would see his ex-wife; whether she was in his temporary room, or beside him in his bed, the first thing he'd see in a dream, or exploding like Derek Modell had done on the mission, she was there. Every time he would drift off only to wake up minutes later in a mild panic, he'd sit up in bed and sigh, run his hand through his hair and convince himself again that she was dead. _You killed her, remember, you idiot?_

The moment he'd thought it, it hit him. He was guilty of murder; he'd broken one of the Ten Commandments, a cardinal sin, something that would surely kill his mother if she knew. Thinking back to the way she'd raised him in the Catholic Church and taught him to obey the laws of God, he felt like he'd betrayed her too. And he'd already had enough guilt to deal with before realizing it.

He'd given up sleep altogether after that and went out to sit on the back porch nursing a beer for the rest of the night, watching the moon make its journey across the sky. It gave him a little comfort to look three houses down and notice that Sydney's apartment lights were off, leaving him to wonder what she was dreaming about. His anxious mind seemed to relax when he thought about her, so he let it continue, going back to the day they met and thinking about every special and insignificant moment he'd spent with her to pass the time.

It had worked. Although by the time he drove into work, he was exhausted, Vaughn at least had not thought about his ex-wife and his guilt for almost eight hours, and that, in itself, was a feat. But he wasn't able to get his sleeplessness past Sydney, when as soon as she saw him, she noted out loud that he looked awful. Vaughn simply joked with her to make light of the situation and then blamed his fatigue on their last mission failure to take the focus off of him.

The briefing was typical as Sloane explained who Derek Modell had been working for and how he'd had access to the Ice 5 sample he'd ingested and subsequently died from. Weiss pointed out the irony of their choice of words now and then to keep the mood light, Marshall blundered through an explanation of how the Ice 5 worked, and Sydney bit out a snarky comment directed at Sloane about "evil geniuses" going legit. Fortunately, everyone was used to all of their usual antics, so no one was reprimanded, and more importantly, no one really noticed that Vaughn was in the room and not speaking much.

Being reminded of the exploding man and Vaughn's most recent dream flash of Lauren doing the same thing, he went to get a cup of coffee to hopefully settle his nerves (and help to wake him up a bit more). Jack apparently had the same idea, and casually asked Vaughn if he was okay. Knowing that his answer wasn't going to convince Jack that he wasn't consumed with thoughts about his dead wife, Vaughn sighed. And then it occurred to him that he could confide in the one person that could truly understand his situation.

"I'm not sleeping very well," he quietly confessed.

"It's Lauren, isn't it?"

Vaughn didn't have to nod. "I think I see her sometimes – or…I _thought_ I saw her…in the market in Algeria. That ever happen with you?"

"Do I have visions of _Lauren_?" Jack tried teasing, but Vaughn really wasn't in the mood.

Giving him an irritated look, Vaughn pointed out, "I don't know that many people who killed the woman they were married to. I'm just wondering if that happens."

"It did," Jack answered lightly. "Now it doesn't."

Vaughn didn't bother asking for more details because he knew the older man wouldn't give them anyway. And instead, he focused on the mission they had ahead of them to keep his mind off of the blonde plague that still seemed to be haunting him.

* * *

Sydney did a great job of getting inside the hospital where they knew Ice 5 was being stored, but she was unable to find the chemical until Kiera MacLaine, the woman she was working for, led her to a wing of the hospital that Kiera called "off limits" to Sydney. Sydney knew without a doubt that Ice 5 would be found behind that code-locked door, and she would need help getting Kiera's access card to get inside.

After being hit by Dixon on purpose in order to require medical attention, Vaughn went to the hospital dressed as a priest to get the fresh cut on his forehead bandaged. Kiera had already made several mentions to Sydney about God or praying or having faith, and that knowledge combined with Sydney mentioning her wearing a cross necklace made them all assume that she respected the Catholic faith, if not practiced it. It seemed like the perfect plan…and it was.

Playing the part of a fallen and imperfect priest, Vaughn flirted with the young woman and had a stroke of luck while he was talking to her, when the man that APO was looking for, Fenton Keene, came to visit Kiera, and Vaughn discovered that they were siblings.

After another quick discussion with Sloane and Jack at APO, Vaughn convinced them all that he could get Kiera to turn on her brother and give up the Ice 5. He already had a feeling that she would show up to his "confessional" – the local bar – so all he had to do was wait.

Sitting in the van and making sure his collar was straight, Sydney asked Vaughn, "Are you sure you can do this?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he smiled slightly, wishing he could take advantage of the fact that Dixon was securing the perimeter – leaving them alone in the van – and close the distance between them and kiss her. But all of that intimacy they once had would come again in time, he reminded himself.

Sydney stared at him for a long minute at his tired, red eyes and wondered briefly what was making him lose sleep. Had she done something to upset him? As much as she wanted to find out, she knew it wasn't the appropriate time to ask.

"Okay," she smiled in reply to his assurance that he could succeed at what lay ahead, and then watched as he started to get up. "Vaughn," she said to get his attention as he move toward the door of the van. Then she changed her mind about telling him that they should talk when they got home and spoke instead, "Be careful. Remember, if you get in trouble–"

"I know… Just cry 'uncle'," he half-grinned, reminding her of their recent mission in Andalusia when she'd unfortunately had to use the codeword to call for help.

Sydney smiled again in return, glad that he was at least still able to be happy and joking around her. Whatever it was that was bothering him…she hoped he would share it with her soon.

Kiera didn't disappoint and she did come into the bar and made her way over to Vaughn's table. He went through the motions and acted out his part of the alcoholic priest, trying to get her to confess her wrongdoings over a glass of scotch. But she was being rather tightlipped and Vaughn knew that she would do better if she felt that they were on a level playing-field. He knew that his personal experiences would come in handy, if he was willing to confess them; not only to this stranger named Kiera, but to Dixon and especially Sydney, whom he knew was listening in.

It seemed like a good risk, especially when he considered that he didn't really know how to let Sydney in on the depth of his guilt and he didn't think that he would ever be able to say any of it to her face. This was a much better option. And if he did it right, Sydney would not feel sorry for his pain, but would simply understand.

So, Vaughn started to talk, about how his wife betrayed him, how evil she had been; how he'd plotted and killed her and knew it was wrong, and could not forgive himself for his sin and shame; and most importantly, how she still haunted him. Not only was Kiera's attention wrapped around his story, but back in the van, Sydney and Dixon were both speechless. Tears filled in Sydney's eyes as she realized that he was going through so much more emotionally than he had been letting on. And she felt slightly guilty that she'd been taking all of the attention for her pain since the restart of their relationship, and she had not taken the time to see the hurt he too was suffering. She knew this was something she would have to fix…and soon.

Following Vaughn and Kiera's movements via the comm link, Sydney rushed in as fast as she could when she knew he was in trouble, and saved Vaughn from being injected in the eye with the Ice 5 just in time. She fought with both Kiera and her brother until they were both down and then freed Vaughn. But Fenton was back up on his feet and trying to hit Sydney with the syringe filled with the chemical, and she and Vaughn dodged and fought with him again. In the end, it was Kiera who was unfortunately injected in the heart with the Ice 5 by her own brother, and as Sydney knocked him out, Vaughn caught Kiera and held her as she took her last breaths.

"For…give," she directed at Vaughn, fighting the effects of the freeze-drying chemical wreaking havoc on her system.

"Kiera…you _know_ I'm not really a priest," Vaughn reminded her when he was sure she was asking for forgiveness for all that she had done involving the production of the Ice 5. "I can't do that."

"No," she argued, "_I_…for-give…I-I forgive y-you." And then her body stiffened and her eyes crystallized and they knew that her pain was finally over. And although he was shocked by her willingness to play the part of a priest and release Vaughn from his guilt and shame, he felt surprisingly at peace in that instant.

Staring at Vaughn, seeing him with new eyes as he met hers, Sydney suddenly wished that _she _had been the one he'd confided in instead of having to hear it second-hand thanks to the technology of an earpiece. "Vaughn…" she started to mumble, but Fenton began to stir, getting the attention of both of them.

Sliding Kiera off of his lap, Vaughn jumped up put his knee into the other man's back, pointing out one of the straps they'd used on Vaughn as something they could tie him up with. As soon as he was secure, Sydney told Dixon to call for backup. Then, just to be safe, they subdued the man with a tranquilizer they found in one of medicine cabinets.

The two sat down on a gurney once Fenton was unconscious again, to wait for the secondary team to come in and clean up. "Vaughn," Sydney started again, "I'm sorry. I've been so selfish–"

"Syd, stop. You haven't been the least bit selfish." He paused to think his words through. "We just…each have our own demons to deal with – that's all."

Smiling slightly, Sydney reached up and touched Vaughn's fatigued face, running her thumbs over the bags under his eyes. "You haven't been sleeping well because of this, right?"

He dropped his eyelids to acknowledge her question, and then turned his face slightly to kiss her palm. "We'll talk soon…I promise."

* * *

It was something Nadia had been trying to find out for days – she had a photo of Irina holding a baby that she'd gotten from Sydney and wanted to know more about it. Nadia began carrying it around with her, asking anyone who might know who the baby was and when the photo was taken, but she'd had no luck. Jack had been tightlipped and unhelpful, and even though he'd wanted to help, her father didn't know much more about her mother than Sydney did.

She'd given up hope of finding out anything when Jack stopped by her desk to inform her that the mission Sydney, Vaughn, and Dixon were on was a success, and then surprisingly asked to see the photo again. Then he began to explain that Irina had told him years before that the baby was her niece and that it had given her hope to have children of her own someday. Jack divulged that he'd asked Irina to marry him the very next day, and that even though the story could have been a fabrication to seduce him into marrying her, he chose to believe that it had been true. He added that he imagined Irina held Nadia in the same manner as the baby in the picture, because he'd seen her hold Sydney that way too.

His words gave Nadia comfort, but they brought tears to her eyes too, and as he walked away, she just let them fall as she stared at the photo and wondered what her mother had been like.

She heard Weiss's booming voice from behind, "Hey Nadia. I know this is probably completely inappropriate considering the mission we just completed, but you want to go for some ice cream again? It's not really my free day, but–" He stopped abruptly when he saw that she wasn't moving or looking up as he walked around in front of her. "Hey–" he spoke softly and shut up when he saw the tears.

Glancing to the picture in her hand, and knowing that she must be grieving, he gently gathered her into his arms without uttering another word. Resting her cheek against his shoulder, Nadia just let the silent tears fall.

* * *

Sydney waited somewhat impatiently for Dixon to go to sleep on the plane trip home so that she and Vaughn might find a moment alone so that she could say what was on her mind…and she hoped that Vaughn would still be awake to hear it. As it was, she could tell that he was truly fighting sleep with all that he had in him.

Finally, when she was sure that Dixon was out, Sydney reached over for Vaughn's hand in his lap and heard him take a deep breath in as he rubbed his face and covered her hand with his free one. As soon as she knew he was awake, she didn't waste any time getting right to the point. "Listening to you talk to that woman…" She couldn't seem to find the right words, but Vaughn already knew what she was trying to say.

"I know," Vaughn whispered back, knowing that this conversation was going to come eventually. And right now was fine with him…as long as he could stay awake to have it.

"I just wanted you to know you can talk to me…whenever you want."

Vaughn smiled sleepily, and murmured, "Thanks."

Before she lost her nerve, Sydney rushed on to the second part of what she'd been thinking in the hours since they'd taken off, "When we get back, maybe you should spend the night." But he didn't reply or even move. After a moment, Sydney said his name once more, but she still got no reply.

Knowing that he was finally getting the rest he so desperately needed, she pulled the blanket up higher on his chest and let him sleep, released his hand and turned to the window with a quiet sigh. It was probably for the best that he hadn't heard her proposition anyway. It was rushed, she knew, and something she'd wanted just to assuage her own guilt. After hearing him confess his innermost thoughts to a perfect stranger – even though she knew he was talking mostly to her anyway – she felt like she understood him a little better, and she'd suddenly felt the need to comfort him after all he'd been through, the best way she knew how.

_Yes, it's better this way, _she consoled herself. _We said we would take it slow…having him spend the night would just confuse things. We're just not ready for that yet._

_But why?_

The absent-minded question made her wonder about her answer. What issues did they have left to deal with? She knew there was _something_ still there, but she just couldn't put her finger on it yet. Maybe in time she would know and they could deal with it and get it out of the way in order to move forward. And hopefully, the answer would come soon.


End file.
